Women….


I was raised by two phenomenal women. And when I say phenomenal I mean absolutely forward thinking groundbreaking Nobel prize winning women. I.e. my mum and my grandmother.
My gran was born in 1911. She was one of the toughest women Ive ever known. And the stories I can tell of her is endless. She taught me many a lessons. And she wasn’t easy on us growing up but she led the way with a great example.

My mum on the other hand is wonder woman in living flesh and blood. She showed us how to be super intelligent, have a career of note (PHD  in chemical pathology) look super good always, be healthy and could strike up a tent and braai a snoek better than any man could.

She’s also the custodian of all power tools in the house haha.

So basically I’ve come from a household where as women we’ve always been shown that we don’t need men, we can do just as much as they can blah blah blah. There’s always been men but we were shown that men are equal partners. 

My dad is present within the whole picture and he’s been great in his own way. But the women in my family have always dominated. And don’t get me wrong, My dad’s no push over. He just has big enough balls to let women be.

So you can just imagine how I’ve tackled life. I can talk sports, rugby, soccer, cricket formula one. I get the off side rule. But in the same breath I can dance and be super feminine sexy. I have the compassionate caring patient side of a mum aswell.

I can handle a power tool and discuss the different nuances of the colour yellow.

Having been raised as a strong intellectual independent woman has been great and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We were taught and shown that you can have and do whatever you put your mind to.

I’ve managed to choose a partner that lets me be. He challenges me in every way, but he lets me be the strong woman I can be. He also allows me to crumble when I can’t anymore. He knows  that I pick myself up quickly and don’t wallow for too long.

What has been really interesting in the past year of us embarking on opening our own restaurant and me now being a boss with my husband or shall I say a real slap in the face. …

Has been the fact that there’s a lot of men out there that can’t handle having to answer to a lady. I know women’s abuse child abuse is a real thing and there are others that suffer from some severe abuse daily at the hands of some.

But it’s interesting to see how many can’t handle having to answer to a woman. Don’t respect what she has to say and it’s purely because it’s coming from the supposedly inferior sex. 
Fuck. One would think in 2017 we would all be equal or all be treated with respect. But it simply isn’t true. Just getting a new drivers licence with your surname now having changed due to marrying the love of your life is a pure sexist exercise by authorities.

Same name, same face, same I.d. number, same fingerprints but God forbid the changed surname. Unless you can provide proof of why surname changed even though it is on your I.d. card they simply won’t accept it or issue drivers licence.

Now I know there are way worse atrocities against women, whether it be our country or others. One just has to flip through a newspaper or log into your Facebook account to read all about it.

And don’t get me started on women’s rights in workplace. We are allowed to excell and be C.E.O.’s but God forbid we decide to get pregnant and want to breastfeed and want to take time to be with kids or see first soccer game etc.

There’s a fuck load still to be done in the work place for women.

Probably why I decided to work for myself a long time ago. At least I’m in charge of how I spend my time. My time is precious. I get more shit done from 8-14:00 than most do in a full days of work. From 14:00 I’m with my kids. I do homework, read, soccer,yes I’m the ultimate mom’s taxi. But I chose to have kids, not because I biologically can. I’ve had kids because I actually want  to raise some kids. As much as I doubt myself like all parents do I think I’m good at it. I actually enjoy raising the future generation. I’ve not had kids so someone else can raise them.

All I’m saying is that it’s interesting to see that women in general from my own experience just aren’t treated equally. We are not respected by most. We are always second guessed and it’s bullshit.

What I’m also trying to say is that I come from a long line of ultimate wonder woman, so I won’t lie down for no one and I will fight for women’s rights always. With my son being born on women’s day haha that’s a given. And I will raise him right. And as for the two girls I’m raising…

I will make sure that they continue the wonder woman act. They will be world leaders in whatever they decide to be and they will know how to stand up for themselves and other women and not take any kak from no-one.

I simply hope I can make a bit of a difference and make this world a better place for women general.

A1, A2 & A3 aka my kids

So, I’ll be brutally honest. Yes, we have 3 kids but out of the 3 only 1 was planned. Luckily the middle one so maybe we can counteract the middle child bullshit with the fact that we actually consciously tried for her. Oh well whatever.
They do drive me up the wall. Don’t get me wrong, morning school runs isn’t fun. The mom soccer taxi or soccer mom schedule isn’t a joke and gets me down half the time.

But I’m naturally a person of optimism or that person that always sees the silver lining even in a very dark stormy cloud. I’m just like that.

So A1 we conceived in England. A very short year after arriving there. Never planned that. I went to do an apprenticeship in shoemaking. Yes, it’s been a life long dream to be a cobbler. H went to spread his wings as a chef. And oh did he do so well. So proud of him.

But essentially I was pregnant from the get go in a foreign country with no friends with a chef boyfriend that worked 16 hr days.

For someone that didn’t plan parenthood, yes I know, but with the love of my life, it was inevitable, in foreign country, little friends and to be hit by post natal depression (like a ton of bricks ) and a torn rectum….(those facts they seem to neglect to tell you when having a child)….

I had 2 acquaintances that I forced myself onto literally child and all.to get through grey gloomy english days. And i’d like to think now that even though we are on 3 different continents and we haven’t seen each other in years we have  become friends. 

My grandmother dying 9000kms away while I was in a deep pit dark pit of post natal depression I think at age 98 for her was my last lesson or saving grace from her. I still remember my mum on phone saying just go home chill, cry have a drink and it’s all ok. 

I distinctly remember A1 looking at me that eve from his pram at 10months. He knew his mummy was experiencing extreme pain of loss. He somehow understood it. He asked why I was crying. I said I would be ok and just held him. He somehow just knew he shouldn’t give me any 10month old bollie.

Between him just cuddling me, my nan dying and my husband’s support the scary very real place of post natal depression was a thing of the past.

I have a soft spot for A1. Even now at 8 he is a sensitive gental soul. He has an acute instinctive understanding of emotions. Not that he quite gets it but he definitely has a feeling towards it. He has simply hauled my ads through some of the scariest bits of parenthood and he has shown me how and what type of parent I want to be.

As for A2…

She is here to haunt me somehow. She is I think the closest to what I was as a kid. Or she has the same interests i.e. drawing and ballet.

So somehow I’m trying to teach or nurture her passions because I get what she likes about those things. But trying to not be the overbearing mother and still just wanting you to do what you do because you love what you do. 

She is a moody cow, I suppose the apple doesn’t fall far…

She is strong and determined but shy. She makes you work hard for her affection. She’s not easily won over, she’s pure, consistent hard work lol.

Went to her first ever ballet demo today. I know she loves it. She forever shows me her first position and plies with arm’s. She has great posture. She’ll go far in the world of ballet with her posture and her  sense of wanting to perform if she wants to.

But today she didn’t want any of it. She was royally pissed off that I was there to watch her sacred  ballet class. And she refused to do anything. She stood on the side with her perfect posture just observing what her peers were doing.

She continued after school by giving me an earful about how I should never just drop into her ballet class. I didn’t just drop by I would never do that. I was invited by teacher like other parents to come watch….

A3….

What a surprise she was. Hahaha

There’s only a year and 2 weeks between her and A2. You do the math… Yes we did miss the class on contraception and over populating the planet.

In the same breath we  are very conscious about teaching our kids how they should and can take care of planet. They know where their food comes from, not to easy water etc.

Anyway. A3 is somehow in her feisty happy self here to rule the household. With that air of Aries she has also just brought absolute pure happiness, laughs, smiles and a real joy for life. Sometimes annoyingly so but she just does. 

She sings. She loves to sing. She’s going to love gymnastics. She’s a real true little daredevil with no concern of her own limbs. And when she does get hurt she’ll most probably just get up dust herself off and laugh uncontrollably. She has an infectious laugh. I think she’s pretty nuts half the time. She’s the one that manages to turn your lounge into a full on red bull extreme sports obstacle course and she has enough charisma to convince everyone else to follow her in her craziness. With a laugh and  giggle.

She has oh brought joy and she has shown us all how to just laugh again. That laugh from the belly.

So ja…

Soccer mom much…

Yes they drive me nuts…

Between the swimming the homework the lunch boxes Trying to inspire and nurture and feed them ‘correctly’ the endless  hearing of “MOMMY” sleepless nights wet beds tantrums smiles ….

Somehow they are all here to teach me a life lesson or two. Their here to challenge me and to make me a better person. I’m not saying parenthood is for everyone. I truly admire people that chose not to over populate the planet. 

I somehow think I’ve found my true calling.